Saturday, August 9, 2008

Where'd all the good food go?

Its been a long time since I've posted anything, so here goes nothing.

I'm a foodie. I love food. I love cooking, I love eating, I love sitting around cooking and eating with friends and family. Folks, its a horrible horrible time to be a foodie.

We live in a nation dotted all over by supermarkets, and restaurants. Food is everywhere. Unfortunately, most of it sucks.

Now I ain't saying it ain't edible, nor at least somewhat nutritious. I'm not blaming Mcdonalds for our nations ever expanding waistlines. Truth is, I've dined at the golden arches on many occasions when I'm in too much of a hurry, or too lazy to cook.

But Lord, I watch the older members of my family working thier special magic in the kitchen, and I want to cry. I want to cry for every kid who's mamma or granny has never, and will never make home made rolls or biscuits. I want to cry for every kid who's never had home made ice cream. I want to cry for every kitchen in the America that has a dirty microwave, and a spotless stove.

I want to cry because I'm not near as good in the kitchen, but I want to be glad that I do know the few tips and tricks out that I do know.

-Real men love heavy metal. Cast Iron in particular. I have a nice sized cast iron skillet, and I've used it just about every day since I've got it. Bacon, ham, sausage, you can't beat a cast iron breakfast. The worlds best treat on a cast iron skillet is Texas toast. cook up some bacon or sausage, and then put a little butter on the hot skilet. When the butter melts, drag both sides of your bread through the melted butter and grease. fry it on both sides for about 30 seconds, and you have toast the way its supposed to be. I'm seriously tempted to throw my toaster out the door after that.

-Dishwashers are for dorks and forks. If you put your cast iron in the dishwasher, you are wrong. If you put your Teflon in the dishwasher, you are definitely wrong. Dishwashers are for utensils, glasses, cutting boards, and any bare metal pans that you have somehow forgotten to throw out of your kitchen.

-If it says "Organic" and its in a chain supermarket, it is wrong. Real organic fruits and vegetables are sold at roadside stands, farmers markets, and come in bags out of your mommas refrigerator. Real organic meat is either shot out in the woods, or found at the local butcher shop. Never trust a butcher shop that doesn't have live animals outside calmly pondering the last few moments of their lives. If the animals don't come in alive and leave dead, it isn't a butcher shop, its a packing facility.


-There is no such thing as organic milk in a carton. If you are drinking "organic milk" and there ain't a cow for miles around, you are wrong.

-No, it is not "all in the sauce". If it was, I'd douse cardboard in barbecue sauce, and save my money. If you're going to cook good meat, you need good meat. And good preperation, and good cooking methodology.

-Thermodynamics is your friend. A couple years welding and cutting steel is how I got my basic understanding of thermodynamics. Its hard to explain without getting into physics, but its basically provides the explanation for why a preheated pizza stone pizza is better then one on a flat cookie sheet, and why cast Iron is so awesome.

-Thermodynamics can be your enemy! Just ask anyone who has poured really cold water into a really hot coffee carafe.

-Preheat. Preheat your oven, and preheat thick cookware such as pizza stones, and cast iron.

-For really good home made ice cream, go to my grandpas house. Theres so many relatives there, they'll never notice that you don't belong. Just try to save me some. I don't know what he does, but he does it right.

-Key to good coffee? Good water first and foremost. Good clean coffeemaker, pot, and cup, secondly. and finally a good sunrise to drink to.

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